More pages from the notebook obtained from the record shop. They are created by Half Hazard Press, and I found them in a new (to me) record shop I was perusing. I also got a Uriah Heap album, titled Demons and Wizards. It was a bold choice considering I had never heard of them but for $9 and a title like that who could resist. We recently pulled out the record player tucked away in a closet, in the hopes that more music enjoyment can be had together.
I am leaning toward this piece as the sticker design for this month’s mail club.
I am mulling over the idea of how to approach the zine for this month. I am proud of my ability to create a zine each month thus far, as well as figuring out the format to print it within Canva. You can sign up for mail club on my here.
My poetry collection is taking its final shape, I’m settled at between 30-40 poems. I am looking at setting the container to make the corresponding collages. If anyone has any experience self-publishing a book outside of Amazon’s service with text and full color images, please let me know.
A new essay for The Tarot Diaries will be on Substack later today.
I’m sharing my writing in a new space on ig, attentionismagic. But I’ll also be sharing here and on substack. New stickers for the mail club just dropped. They’ll also be available to purchase separately. Check it out here
The Tarot Diaries, my 78-week project has had me delving deeper than I anticipated, much faster than expected. In today’s post I share about self-identity, the myth of Narcissus, the cloudy depths of the subconscious, dealing with the throes of sobriety and memory loss. Trigger warnings are listed at the beginning of the essay. It’s a vulnerable one folks.
This project is a weekly walk with an individual tarot card. I will analyze the card. I will connect it with personal anecdotes. I will make art that represents the card. I will try to embody the spirit of the card (or allow its’ spirit to embody me). I will look at the days of that week to see how the chosen card shows up in my day to day life. It will be a practice of getting to know myself, getting reacquainted with the tarot, and coming back into my life. Tune in for status reports daily-ish, or get the full week’s work in a delivered newsletter.
This weeks card is strength
This morning I pulled the tarot card strength, which is card 8 of the major arcana. At first glance, I see the figure attempt to open the lion’s mouth. This is done in a tender way, but also forceful. It makes me think of walking my dog. She is constantly trying to eat things I don’t know that she should eat. I am consistently trying to open her mouth to spit out a bug or a plant I haven’t identified, or a piece of garbage left on the street.
Ultimately, this practice of walking our dog, who we got a year and a half ago, has been the natural force to get my feet moving and my eyes open. Admittedly, I am still on my phone more than I would like, sometimes while walking her. Even if I tuck the phone away, I still struggle when I think of walking without music or an audiobook or podcast. But, since about midsummer, this has changed.
Walking has turned into a meditation. It’s an act of presence. I have paid more attention to my surroundings. I have paid more attention to nature. I have learned a lot about my environment. I have met more people. I have written poems. I have gotten downloads for creative project ideas. I have felt…in flow.
This comes back to strength because it brings me back to myself. Much like the infinity symbol above the person’s head in the card, I am reminded of forever returning. The daily minutiae used to be the bane of my existence…now it is an act of worship. I still struggle to pick up a dishcloth everyday. Laundry remains in the washer too long. But I am gentler. I am a buoy that gently rocks back and forth, back and forth. I may stray from the practices that help to keep me aligned with my body, my values, my soul…but I find my way back, each time a little bit quicker.
It also makes me think of the forever-ness of living this creative life. What does it look like to start a project, to walk away without berating yourself or feeling like a failure, only to return when the time is right? There is often artwork I share because the art of sharing is an instant gratification I LOVE. I make things, and immediately want to show them to every person I know. This includes you, dear internet friend. I want to show you too. Strength is holding some projects back, tenderly, forcefully. It is knowing that some things require incubation. Not everything must be birthed immediately.
I am learning this in my art practice. I will often tune in with a medium, work in it, and end up unfinished and unsatisfied with the end result. BUT…but…but, when I let it simmer. When I let the magic bake into it completely and then return to it? Usually it takes new shape, and ends up as something whole. I’m thinking this is what will be required of me as I continue writing. Some things are perfect for that immediate satisfaction. There are other projects, the big, scary projects I have been avoiding because of “insert favorite excuse here” that require patience.
I think strength and patience are perhaps sisters. Or at least cousins.
Art started this morning after my morning pages live; then finished this afternoon once the bottom layers dried. A page from my new journalI finished this painting, first canvas done in a long time
An update on my current journaling and sketchbook setup!
Starmoth Press 