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Two collages and a haiku
opportunistic
robin plays bath splashing in
puddles of fresh rain
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Angst
I know you’re upset
But here
I carved a space
In my heart
Meet me there
We’ll have tea
Not too strong
So we can still
go to bed early
We’ll talk about the
meaning of
Our matching fingerprints
You scribble tears on your face
With blue crayon
They fall, rain from your cheeks
Splash into your cup
Allow me to drink it for you
It’s been long enough
You don’t have to do this alone
“Wolf turn” Episode five of the podcast Living Practice is live 💕 catch it here or find it on your favorite podcast platform.
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promises
you could say
hi pretty girl
and i would look for who
you’re speaking to
certainly not this rib cage
playing the song of
hollow bones
buried
too much flesh
bulging
fabric too tight
all wrong
she’ll tell herself
i’m all wrong
w a i t
for words of kindness
they do not come until
aged hands from
older me
grasp my tiny fingers
whispers triumphantly
“you are not all wrong
you are everything
you are wonderful
wonderful”
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water me
threads of being
curl through every cell
of this body
arms chest heart
opening like a flower
crying nectar at the
sunrise
penetration of light
both
pleasure and
pain
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will you accept this payment
tended the garden of this mind
brains weren’t extraordinary
I cling to the title:
gifted
press the label onto my shirt
hand lingers above my breast
delusion
the tag tied round my toe in the morgue
it’s all I ever was…until, you know
I wasn‘t
plummeting grades, marks don’t matter
blackout nights, herded by strangers
bra stuffed with money
and tear-stained fights
this body became
the sacrifice;
payment on the altar of
expectation
color me surprised
you roll your eyes
not impressed
tell me this
is it enough yet?
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New this week
The Tarot Diaries segment on the four of cups is now live. Swipe through the photos for previews of what I dive into 💚
Read more at Contemplative Creativity Below is my sticker design for Care Mail Club. Sign ups are $11 to receive a sticker, zine and original artwork…and sometimes extra goodies 😜 check it out on my ko-fi.
The sticker shone below was from last month’s club mail. it’s available for $3 on ko-fi.
The zine I made for The Glitch Witch’s zine quest 
My book is now available for purchase here on Ingram Spark, or you can find it (and the ebook version) on Amazon and B&N. -
is that word alive
AI trained on human souls
yet their words taste like
pink plastic left
in the sun too long
I’d like to think I can tell
when words don’t have a body
like scraping the knee
on the playground asphalt
or bumping the funny bone
or drinking water underneath
scorching sun
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loving gaze
Where it began: stilt houses
Skeletal remains emerging
from algae-green pools
Awe blooming at heart level
for faded places, forgotten
I whisper “thank you for open eyes”
now I lovingly see
crooked barns
crumbling factories
boarded-up businesses
debris piles left behind
wild-torn houses
places hold people, hold stories…
and now no one is left
to tend to these places,
they were once a flurry of
motion, aliveness, everyday mundanity
now no one bothered
to even tear them down
burn remains
memorialize their time here
honor what was
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On feeling stuck creatively
Creativity begets creativity. If you find yourself “stuck,” find another way to get creative…lower the stakes and have fun. It clears the channel.
“Stuck” is the framework because you’re caught in the loop of expectation and pushing. All it does is crowd you with nonsense.Nothing will flow if you don’t keep the channel open. Creative play is basically inspirational housekeeping.
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early afternoon
12:34
while my daughter screams
“I’M SO LUCKY”
she found a quarter on the porch
I think about
rollerblading because
I don’t remember ever
deciding to stop
my son wants to eat a whole
pizza for lunch
the porch door is open
I lay on the couch
as that’s what I usually do
I’ve bought so many
books and courses
hoping to learn how to do things
placing my trust
in anyone’s hands but
my own
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I see it in the pieces and in the whole
I made this new insert for my travelers notebook from old sketchbook pages 
It feels strange to be working in this cover but on a different type of paper. But I am enjoying the playfulness 
When I look at them completed I don’t recognize where I made certain decisions. And new information comes forward from the wholeness of the piece -
What are we making today?
Marks, put down marks. Don’t be precious. Just put pigment on paper. Spray with water if that feels good. Smear colors together with an overused white marker. Draw lines. Scribble. Cute paste glue. More marks. Only stop when your body tells you. -
Where I find the sacred
Reading “Ordinary Mysticism” by Mirabai Starr
I find the presence of the sacred hidden in my aching bones when I have to push myself a little farther past my comfort zone. I am reminded I am alive.
I find the presence of the sacred as I walk, an obligation, yes…but also a gift. I move on familiar paths and marvel that I came together as this particular collection of cells, at least for now.
I also feel the sacred flowing through tingling fingers as I create. It is an openness that simply keeps me moving.
I feel the sacred in the hard moments, but also in the soft. Like asking the kids about how their day was, laying down for a daily nap because I respect this body enough to know rest is vital.
Although I can feel imperfect on my path, ultimately I believe the sacred meets me in the trying. I am forever in a state of reaching toward the unknowable mystery: my fingers imagine grasping the hem of its cloak…but remember that not knowing is beauty too. I breathe, my chest rises. the day is promising but also cold. I have shelter and warmth and unending love, even if only for this brief moment.
“Numinous” mini collage For more writing on where I meet the sacred, check out my recent essay in Fieldwren Journal: available here
I just started it, but go grab a copy of “Ordinary Mysticism: Your Life as Sacred Ground” by Mirabai Starr. Let me know what you think.
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Making marks
An automatic drawing I made last night while watching Uzumaki. Mostly just tried to set time apart where I wasn’t doomscrolling. Being locked in during a snow storm has made it hard to resist the phone, especially since I can’t go for my daily walk. My legs hurt intensely. Luckily my ulcer issues have chilled out, and the medicine I am allowed to take has kept the horrid headaches at bay. I still slept a lot today. I also began knitting a hat. Still trying to work through my stash.
Back to the drawing, into interesting because a lot of elements always seem to appear and I usually see some type of character or spirit manifest. Will probably do more of this tonight when I’m not knitting.
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Selling some tiny art, and playing in my sketchbook
I am currently trying out selling some tiny artworks as ACEOs on eBay after learning about them on TikTok. I enjoy making tiny art anyway, and it does pile up quickly. I use to run an eBay shop back in college. This seems like it will be much less labor intensive (I hope) as far as admin is concerned. Each is on auction for a starting bid of .99, with a buy it now price of $5. I enjoy the accessibility of this practice, as someone who only started collecting artwork a few years ago. Each piece is also 3.5” x 2.5” which is just fun. You can check these all out here: https://www.ebay.com/usr/starmothx. The two images below are also cards I have available.
This is the design that won out for the sticker for this month’s care mail club (sign up on ko-fi here: https://ko-fi.com/starmothpress it’s available as a one-off purchase or a membership). I have a few others that I really love and was torn as far as using them, but ultimately the bunny was the winner (bunnies are my favorite, besides dogs…and birds.) Here were the other contenders. Perhaps they’ll be stickers in the future?
This evening I would really like to get to some fiction writing, but have also been recovering from a whole collection of illnesses. Last weekend, the family had the stomach flu. It kicked my butt! The kids had it as well, so I was extra beat from taking care of them. Then the week felt like a race from one thing to the next, not a moment to breathe. By the time Friday came, I was dealing with debilitating stomach pain. It seemed as though my ulcer was acting up again. I (stubbornly) did not go to the doctor right away, trying to push through with the thought it would be gone in the morning.
It was not.
The thing is the temperature and air pressure also dropped overnight. The lack of caffeine plus the sinus issues, plus the tension from so much body pain meant I had a triple whopper of a headache when I took the kids to basketball camp Saturday morning. It was all I had to sit there for an hour, and after taking them home and getting everyone settled…I headed to urgent care. They advised me of steps I could take to alleviate the stomach pain as well as meds I could safely take to manage the headaches. I could barely keep my eyes open. I slept most of the day. Thank goodness it was a Saturday.
The next morning I felt much better. Having slept so much I woke up at five. I treated my stomach gingerly, and have been slowly eliminating certain things (such as coffee :() in order to keep everything manageable. Sunday felt a little like a hangover day, today’s vibe was much better but with another temperature drop came another headache.
A page in my journal where I played with paint, pencils and paper. Processing the world 
Visioning the world I wish to inhabit. Luckily it was a mostly quiet day at home. I’ve been catching up on some admin, hence the fact that these items are up on eBay, and I finally posted some stickers for sale on my ko-fi. I’m on a strict order to take Benadryl before bed so I think it’s time for me to get some sleep. I can hit the ground running with some writing in the morning — caring for the physical body comes first.
I did complete this weeks collage for The Tarot Diaries, which I hope to write on tomorrow. The podcast has fallen behind a couple of weeks, but I hope I can recover that as well. It can’t be done in poor health though, so rest it is.
I hope everyone has a safe week. Stay well friends.
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The little notebook joy continues
More pages from the notebook obtained from the record shop. They are created by Half Hazard Press, and I found them in a new (to me) record shop I was perusing. I also got a Uriah Heap album, titled Demons and Wizards. It was a bold choice considering I had never heard of them but for $9 and a title like that who could resist. We recently pulled out the record player tucked away in a closet, in the hopes that more music enjoyment can be had together.
I am leaning toward this piece as the sticker design for this month’s mail club. I am mulling over the idea of how to approach the zine for this month. I am proud of my ability to create a zine each month thus far, as well as figuring out the format to print it within Canva. You can sign up for mail club on my here.
My poetry collection is taking its final shape, I’m settled at between 30-40 poems. I am looking at setting the container to make the corresponding collages. If anyone has any experience self-publishing a book outside of Amazon’s service with text and full color images, please let me know.
A new essay for The Tarot Diaries will be on Substack later today.
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Welcome to the void
I found a fun little notebook at a record store and now I’m filling it with collage
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“On” — new collage
“On” collage on index card -
Attention is magic: the leaf portal
I’m sharing my writing in a new space on ig, attentionismagic. But I’ll also be sharing here and on substack. 
New stickers for the mail club just dropped. They’ll also be available to purchase separately. Check it out here -
From one of the small collage diaries
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Collage-a-palooza
I made a little journal that included vellum pages and have been able to create some really fun collages. It’s been so fun I filled the journal in two days! I’ll be uploading all of these designs to Redbubble.
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Creative play session
This is how I feel better -
to hang a basket
to hang a basket
Analog collage on
vintage gardening card
roughly 7” x 4”
rounded corners
available -
to the brim
to the brim
collage on vintage gardening card
roughly 7” x 4”
rounded corners
available -
self-inquiry with paper
what works? what doesn’t work? what’s necessary? what feels like a boulder? -
The tarot diaries: ace of pentacles
My collage for the ace of pentacles 
this week’s edition of The Tarot Diaries is now available. We’re talking about the ace of pentacles, how the hand is offering you the pentacle just as Morpheus offered Neo the red pill out of the matrix, about analog practice, about cooking and the moments that make sobriety and presence worth it.
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Authentic
“Authentic”
10-14-25
Collage on vintage postcard booklet cover
6.25” x 3.5”
this booklet was filled with St. Joan of Arc postcards which I have used for a different project. But I saved the cover and am so glad. 🦋 -
This is what it looks like inside my head
Sketchbook spread in my travelers notebook; old faithful -
Finally made a little painting
“Tornado” mixed media collage on index card -
Scraptober days 12 & 13
I combine the prompts for haunted house and unicorn to make a comic for this page.
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Progress on my scraptober zine
Days 7 & 8 of scraptober 
Day 9 of scraptober 
Days 10 & 11 of scraptober -
The Tarot Diaries: the moon
I will be linking the newsletter archive here to avoid having to publish both places. No subscription is required, but it’s always appreciated!
The Tarot Diaries, my 78-week project has had me delving deeper than I anticipated, much faster than expected. In today’s post I share about self-identity, the myth of Narcissus, the cloudy depths of the subconscious, dealing with the throes of sobriety and memory loss. Trigger warnings are listed at the beginning of the essay. It’s a vulnerable one folks.
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The curiosity spiral
as creatives we travel ever inward, following the curiosity spiral via gentle intuitive nudges and vulnerable action…asking ourselves: what if it’s worth the risk? And: what if I keep experimenting? -
an in progress slow stitching project
This is the look of joy.
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Creative cycle diagram, and a creative co-working video for body doubling
This is an expansion on the creative cycle model that came through earlier this summer. I am on week seven of the artists way, this came through during a morning pages session and I had to create it in procreate. Would anyone like a free printable? -
I love a finished journal
This is six weeks of morning pages and journal prompts (and a little bit extra). 
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Scraptober days 1-6
I’m turning it into a zine of cutout illustrations, building and sharing as I go.
1. Fairy 2. School lunch but make it candy 3. Whistle 
4. Bones 5. Beverage or pasta (I made it both) 6. Refrigerator of your accomplishments -
Beauty transmission
For the first time in a long time working in my sketchbook, my sacred travelers notebook, feels right…feels good. Always follow that feeling. -
People are talking
Sketchbook spread in my travelers notebook ; take the leap; make something today. My podcast is officially here!
I also finally made my podcast. The first episode is live. It’s called Living Practice: a podcast that explores sacred moments and creative living. It can be found on Apple Podcasts, Spotify and Substack. Please go give it a listen, follow, review, anything that doesn’t feel like too much of a burden.
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ADHD mom trying to be Soccer mom
A vulnerable representation of me, a ADHD mom, trying really hard to do soccer mom things because my kids need to run.
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The Tarot Diaries: Queen of Wands
I drew this card on the evening of the 28th, having wrapped up my week with the four of wands. I did so after my daily prayer practice. It felt good to pull the Queen of Wands. I love her creative, life-giving energy. Then I went to bed.
During morning pages on Monday I didn’t think much of it but I did decide to do a collage to get the juices flowing. This is the collage that resulted after my own knowledge of the Queen of Wands as well as just vibing with the card.
Queen of Wands, collage on index card, completed 9/29/25 I was incredibly proud of this piece. I am trying to push the bounds of my collage practice. I am trying to include new subjects and shapes, patterns and colors. The sunflower was cut out of a copy of How to Know the Wild Flowers. This was done on a co-working live, and it took immense concentration. But, again…I think one of the main takeaways for me on my creative journey this year has been that sitting with discomfort is a part of it. That’s where this TikTok came from. I filmed a beautiful monarch butterfly outside in the backyard. I was baking in the heat (it’s still in the 80s in the Midwest) because the dog wanted to peruse the whole property…or so it seemed. She was doing dog things, I was observing our (still) blooming zinnia patch when I turned to find this gorgeous creature just chilling on our hedgerow. The thing is, I wouldn’t have seen her, been captivated by her beauty, or thought to record her (I’m keeping that part in a little box labeled LOOK AT THIS LATER WHEN THE WORLD IS LESS WILD). My grumpy, sweaty, tired self would’ve been obliviously inside, comfortable.
https://www.tiktok.com/t/ZTM6fUvD8/
So the Queen of Wands embraces life. She is open and excited about creative potential. She moves in action towards that which she desires. I can certainly see this in myself, especially in this moment. With both kids at school during the day and hours to myself to work on what I’ve set aside…it seems as though creative flourishing is in season, at least for now.
Then I was blocked for two days.
Fortunately, this isn’t like an actual creative block and more like the real world circumstances and other creative commitments we make (that I’m all of a sudden holding to, thank you The Artist’s Way) that stand in the way by means of taking time. Ultimately, I can see…especially in my circumstances as a bipolar person, with ADHD, who is a recovering addict…that external intervention that pulls me back to the day to day minutiae is a good thing. I get very blustery at the time.
Didn’t the universe know I was JUST STARTING this project on the tarot and being so busy otherwise was going to make follow through too difficult.
Julia Cameron, in The Artist’s Way, talks about walking in trust with our creator. You can refer to this Great Mystery as god, the universe, source, whatever. I’m starting to realize that while I don’t have the habitual organization of what we might think of as a type a person, I do have issues with control. I want to control…everything.
How can one who wishes to subvert control over as much as they can in their life possibly sit in vulnerable openness to god? How could one singular being possibly know the path more than the being that is everything? Why do I feel the need to constantly push and push and push.
I’ve listened to the audiobook of Seventy-Eight Degrees of Wisdom from the late Rachel Pollack once. I recently bought a physical copy because, as I stated at the beginning of the project, I want to develop a more intimate relationship with the cards. I am reading through Pollack’s interpretations and wisdom of each card as one piece to this puzzle. This is the first card where I had to do it before writing my initial thoughts essay.
When I used to do readings for other people I did not read reversals. It was too overwhelming. I was getting too caught up in technicalities so I let that go. As I refer to Pollack’s book, I can see that I easily got upright understanding of this card down, at least surface level. It’s when I looked to the reversed meanings that are shared that it seems like maybe this is why I am with this card at this time. Pollack says about the Queen of Wands Reversed:
“We can see her as the kind of person who will take over the running of someone’s house when they have had a crisis and at the same time off advice, consultation, emotional support, all these things coming from a natural impulse rather than a sense of duty.
Rachel Pollack, 78 Degrees of Wisdom: A Tarot Journey to Self-Awareness, pgs. 166-167
At the same time this good nature demands that life respond in a positive way. Too much disaster or too much opposition from life (and the weakness of such a person can be a tendency to think of life as ‘unfair’), and a nasty streak can emerge. She can become deceitful, jealous, unfaithful, or somewhat bitter.”If that doesn’t sound like me, I don’t know what does. It’s not really in reference to anyone else’s house, but my own. Despite the idea that I am a stay-at-home mom, I find myself running on fumes without clear time for rest or creativity. There are even moments in the car where I will pray out loud to god while talking about how unfair life is, not to sound ungrateful, but there’s so much to do and I can’t possibly manage all of this and I just want to be at home making art.
I tear down all of my own boundaries and walls, then get mad when no one else helps me to adhere to them. I know that I thrive when I have time to create early in the morning, however I stay up later and later due either to time blindness, tiredness or unwillingness to stop what I’m working on. This isn’t just a self-regulation problem either. Part of The Artist’s Way that has been difficult has been managing the artist date, playful time doing something fun on my own, with my responsibilities and the guilt that comes up doing this.
The Queen of Wands is inspiring me to think of how I can build more creativity into my mundane activities. She also invites me to play with the idea of time and structure. How can I have the routine that makes my ADHD happy while also providing the flexibility that my Inner Artist needs to follow her whims? AND how does all of this interact with my desire and goal to have a healthier relationship with discipline? My mind will continue to ponder as I meditate on the Queen of Wands and attempt to stay open and receptive for any insight.
Journal Prompts:
What is your relationship to discomfort? Can you sit with it? Can you befriend it as you work towards a goal, perhaps one that is more abstract and long term?
What is your relationship to discipline? How does is aide your creative work? Is it friend or foe? Do you avoid it all together? Try drawing a character, something that embodies discipline, that will make it easier for you to interact with. What does a conversation with them look like? How does it go? What do they expect from you in order to make your relationship work?
What is your daily routine? How does creativity play a role? Do you schedule time, or find little moments? Do you feel like any part of your routine isn’t in balance?
How are you standing up for yourself and your creative time?
This is my little discipline friend (well, acquaintance for now). My idea behind it is if we all have this creative Inner Flame burning, then discipline is one of the key players to keep that Flame burning. The idea behind the prompt isn’t to draw some artistic genius rendering of Discipline as a character to ooooh and ahhhh over. The idea for what you create to help you visualize conversing with discipline if you have, perhaps, not been able to stay in a positive relationship with them OR are trying to figure out how they fit into your creative life so you’re both happy. Shop my Bookshop: https://bookshop.org/shop/starmothpress
Sign up for my newsletter: https://starmoth.substack.com
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Collage diary
A collage spread from this morning’s live creative co-working -
A collage to try and help this slow burn headache
“Float” collage on vintage postcard -
Morning collage
“Singularity” collage on index card Not the only thing created today but I’m working BTS on The Tarot Diaries and submission pieces.
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The Tarot Diaries: four of wands
Sunday, September 28, 2025
I’m happy to report my birthday was an ordinary day. The whole week was jam packed with different activities that kept me rather busy. I felt myself reaching for my phone a lot. When I get busy with daily minutiae, my body longs to escape. I want pretty pictures and art to aspire to. I want inspirational quotes and photos of other people’s highlight reel.
When I look at the four of wands this morning, I see the gate of the four staffs as a threshold. I see the celebration invites us into presence. It reminds us that the moment, the here and now of it, is the true threshold we are constantly standing at. If we decide to stay engage, if we push back against the impulse to pick up our phone and escape, if we decide to reclaim our attention, it is a threshold we can walk through again and again.
Daily rituals are good anchor points throughout the day for this. My altar practice, where I clean two cups to refill with water offerings, where I read my artist’s prayer, where I read from my daily readers, and I remind myself that everything is sacred…this is a pivotal anchor for me.
As some may know, I am currently working through The Artist’s Way, closing out week 5. Morning pages are also a daily ritual. Making coffee is a morning ritual. Making my nightly tea before I sit down in the evening is a ritual. All of these things pull me back. Filling the kettle. Preparing the coffee grounds, or the tea bags. Filling the cup with steaming water. Adding the honey, the coconut milk, stirring. If I can be there, in my mind, in that moment….I have crossed the threshold to presence and am reminded that this, too, is something to celebrate.
A collage done on an index card. It includes an image transfer of a woman’s back shoulders and head, she wears an ornate pearl necklace. Beneath this, two images stand out: colorful flowers behind a black and white circle, and a black and white anchor. There is red thread stitching throughout the piece, mostly in rows of four. This collage was done meditating on the four of wands.
Collage and stitching are two methods that help me to re-enter my body. This was made on Saturday after my morning pages. I found the process to be very therapeutic. I kept the four of wands card upright on my desk, following my desires intuitively for how I wanted this to turn out. Another collage I did Tuesday while meditating on the card is below.
This is a collage done on an index card. There are markings on the card, which show through the vaguely see-through image transfer on the bottom. The image is of two geese (honestly a guess) which to me symbolize the two celebrating within the card. The top portion of the collage is divided into sections, primarily black and white…except a portion between which has four vertical lines in red and outlined in black. This piece was done while meditating on the four of wands.
This piece, which I technically completed first, was done right after my first entry on this card on Tuesday. I can feel the undertone of anxiety when looking at it, but it also gives me little sparks of hope. Perhaps that is the whole point. Our practices bring us back to presence and help us feel a sense of hope again. Hope is a feeling we all should strive for during these times.
In honor of reclaiming my attention, I am trying to spend less time scrolling social media (especially while outside) or even listening to audiobooks or podcasts. It is difficult for me to admit that sometimes these distractions help me to complete tasks I have always felt resistance to.
Being outside is often an invitation to observe for me. Observation has taught me so much over the last few years living in the country. I believe this is a blue jay feather, a bird that has come to have some spiritual significance to me. I left it on the ground, as that’s where it decided to land, but did snap a photo. I was standing on the steps of our patio while the dog walked through the backyard, and I looked down for this little gift…a wink from god, the universe, happenstance, whatever. It made me smile. Gratitude swelled in my chest. That is easily a reason to celebrate.
So, I try to find balance. I see balance in the four of wands as well. We can make space for practice but also acknowledge that sometimes, at the end of a hard day, listening to a podcast while doing the dishes may be warranted. I want to think less in the way of all or nothing. I’d prefer to remember that everyday is a spectrum of our experience. Yes, we can choose our attitude and approach to life, but also circumstances can and do SUCK sometimes. Repressing the emotions that come up in these instances is not helpful. It will inspire our nervous systems to shut down, or distance themselves from the situation.
No, we can give ourself grace. We can ask for grace from god (insert whatever higher being or spiritual belief you have here — I believe all are valid). We can celebrate how far we’ve come when we allow ourselves to wallow in self-pity, then we stand up, dust ourselves off, and move on to the next thing.
There is always a next thing, another moment, a new threshold. It builds itself as we step forward. We can choose our perspective in these moments. It can be pessimistic, realistic, it can be the perspective that whatever waits on the other side is worth celebrating simply because that moment is there. And that is a miracle.
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Sign up for my newsletter: https://starmoth.substack.com
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What remains
Bald eagle
circles with
two vultures
tending to death
like the
carcass of a deer
or the
decay of a nation
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where do you see reflections of yourself?
Feet pull me out the door
And wind runs fingers
through my hair
It’s familiar:
this soft, electric air
between the storms
Damp earth sinks beneath me
I fall into lush moss
and vibrant greens
alive with rain
I see myself here
reflected back
by tree roots
and budding leaves
There is family here
in heavy water drops
and curious bird eyes
Starmoth Press 