a diary of words, paper and other ephemeral things
I know you’re upset
But here
I carved a space
In my heart
Meet me there
We’ll have tea
Not too strong
So we can still
go to bed early
We’ll talk about the
meaning of
Our matching fingerprints
You scribble tears on your face
With blue crayon
They fall, rain from your cheeks
Splash into your cup
Allow me to drink it for you
It’s been long enough
You don’t have to do this alone
Episode five of the podcast Living Practice is live 💕 catch it here or find it on your favorite podcast platform.
tended the garden of this mind
brains weren’t extraordinary
I cling to the title:
gifted
press the label onto my shirt
hand lingers above my breast
delusion
the tag tied round my toe in the morgue
it’s all I ever was…until, you know
I wasn‘t
plummeting grades, marks don’t matter
blackout nights, herded by strangers
bra stuffed with money
and tear-stained fights
this body became
the sacrifice;
payment on the altar of
expectation
color me surprised
you roll your eyes
not impressed
tell me this
is it enough yet?
The Tarot Diaries segment on the four of cups is now live. Swipe through the photos for previews of what I dive into 💚
Below is my sticker design for Care Mail Club. Sign ups are $11 to receive a sticker, zine and original artwork…and sometimes extra goodies 😜 check it out on my ko-fi.
The sticker shone below was from last month’s club mail. it’s available for $3 on ko-fi.
Creativity begets creativity. If you find yourself “stuck,” find another way to get creative…lower the stakes and have fun. It clears the channel.
“Stuck” is the framework because you’re caught in the loop of expectation and pushing. All it does is crowd you with nonsense.
Nothing will flow if you don’t keep the channel open. Creative play is basically inspirational housekeeping.
Reading “Ordinary Mysticism” by Mirabai Starr
I find the presence of the sacred hidden in my aching bones when I have to push myself a little farther past my comfort zone. I am reminded I am alive.
I find the presence of the sacred as I walk, an obligation, yes…but also a gift. I move on familiar paths and marvel that I came together as this particular collection of cells, at least for now.
I also feel the sacred flowing through tingling fingers as I create. It is an openness that simply keeps me moving.
I feel the sacred in the hard moments, but also in the soft. Like asking the kids about how their day was, laying down for a daily nap because I respect this body enough to know rest is vital.
Although I can feel imperfect on my path, ultimately I believe the sacred meets me in the trying. I am forever in a state of reaching toward the unknowable mystery: my fingers imagine grasping the hem of its cloak…but remember that not knowing is beauty too. I breathe, my chest rises. the day is promising but also cold. I have shelter and warmth and unending love, even if only for this brief moment.
For more writing on where I meet the sacred, check out my recent essay in Fieldwren Journal: available here
I just started it, but go grab a copy of “Ordinary Mysticism: Your Life as Sacred Ground” by Mirabai Starr. Let me know what you think.
An automatic drawing I made last night while watching Uzumaki. Mostly just tried to set time apart where I wasn’t doomscrolling. Being locked in during a snow storm has made it hard to resist the phone, especially since I can’t go for my daily walk. My legs hurt intensely. Luckily my ulcer issues have chilled out, and the medicine I am allowed to take has kept the horrid headaches at bay. I still slept a lot today. I also began knitting a hat. Still trying to work through my stash.
Back to the drawing, into interesting because a lot of elements always seem to appear and I usually see some type of character or spirit manifest. Will probably do more of this tonight when I’m not knitting.
More pages from the notebook obtained from the record shop. They are created by Half Hazard Press, and I found them in a new (to me) record shop I was perusing. I also got a Uriah Heap album, titled Demons and Wizards. It was a bold choice considering I had never heard of them but for $9 and a title like that who could resist. We recently pulled out the record player tucked away in a closet, in the hopes that more music enjoyment can be had together.
I am mulling over the idea of how to approach the zine for this month. I am proud of my ability to create a zine each month thus far, as well as figuring out the format to print it within Canva. You can sign up for mail club on my here.
My poetry collection is taking its final shape, I’m settled at between 30-40 poems. I am looking at setting the container to make the corresponding collages. If anyone has any experience self-publishing a book outside of Amazon’s service with text and full color images, please let me know.
A new essay for The Tarot Diaries will be on Substack later today.
Starmoth Press 