a diary of words, paper and other ephemeral things
I know you’re upset
But here
I carved a space
In my heart
Meet me there
We’ll have tea
Not too strong
So we can still
go to bed early
We’ll talk about the
meaning of
Our matching fingerprints
You scribble tears on your face
With blue crayon
They fall, rain from your cheeks
Splash into your cup
Allow me to drink it for you
It’s been long enough
You don’t have to do this alone
Episode five of the podcast Living Practice is live 💕 catch it here or find it on your favorite podcast platform.
you could say
hi pretty girl
and i would look for who
you’re speaking to
certainly not this rib cage
playing the song of
hollow bones
buried
too much flesh
bulging
fabric too tight
all wrong
she’ll tell herself
i’m all wrong
w a i t
for words of kindness
they do not come until
aged hands from
older me
grasp my tiny fingers
whispers triumphantly
“you are not all wrong
you are everything
you are wonderful
wonderful”
threads of being
curl through every cell
of this body
arms chest heart
opening like a flower
crying nectar at the
sunrise
penetration of light
both
pleasure and
pain
tended the garden of this mind
brains weren’t extraordinary
I cling to the title:
gifted
press the label onto my shirt
hand lingers above my breast
delusion
the tag tied round my toe in the morgue
it’s all I ever was…until, you know
I wasn‘t
plummeting grades, marks don’t matter
blackout nights, herded by strangers
bra stuffed with money
and tear-stained fights
this body became
the sacrifice;
payment on the altar of
expectation
color me surprised
you roll your eyes
not impressed
tell me this
is it enough yet?
Feet pull me out the door
And wind runs fingers
through my hair
It’s familiar:
this soft, electric air
between the storms
Damp earth sinks beneath me
I fall into lush moss
and vibrant greens
alive with rain
I see myself here
reflected back
by tree roots
and budding leaves
There is family here
in heavy water drops
and curious bird eyes
The Tarot Diaries segment on the four of cups is now live. Swipe through the photos for previews of what I dive into 💚
Below is my sticker design for Care Mail Club. Sign ups are $11 to receive a sticker, zine and original artwork…and sometimes extra goodies 😜 check it out on my ko-fi.
The sticker shone below was from last month’s club mail. it’s available for $3 on ko-fi.
An automatic drawing I made last night while watching Uzumaki. Mostly just tried to set time apart where I wasn’t doomscrolling. Being locked in during a snow storm has made it hard to resist the phone, especially since I can’t go for my daily walk. My legs hurt intensely. Luckily my ulcer issues have chilled out, and the medicine I am allowed to take has kept the horrid headaches at bay. I still slept a lot today. I also began knitting a hat. Still trying to work through my stash.
Back to the drawing, into interesting because a lot of elements always seem to appear and I usually see some type of character or spirit manifest. Will probably do more of this tonight when I’m not knitting.
I am currently trying out selling some tiny artworks as ACEOs on eBay after learning about them on TikTok. I enjoy making tiny art anyway, and it does pile up quickly. I use to run an eBay shop back in college. This seems like it will be much less labor intensive (I hope) as far as admin is concerned. Each is on auction for a starting bid of .99, with a buy it now price of $5. I enjoy the accessibility of this practice, as someone who only started collecting artwork a few years ago. Each piece is also 3.5” x 2.5” which is just fun. You can check these all out here: https://www.ebay.com/usr/starmothx. The two images below are also cards I have available.
This is the design that won out for the sticker for this month’s care mail club (sign up on ko-fi here: https://ko-fi.com/starmothpress it’s available as a one-off purchase or a membership). I have a few others that I really love and was torn as far as using them, but ultimately the bunny was the winner (bunnies are my favorite, besides dogs…and birds.) Here were the other contenders. Perhaps they’ll be stickers in the future?
This evening I would really like to get to some fiction writing, but have also been recovering from a whole collection of illnesses. Last weekend, the family had the stomach flu. It kicked my butt! The kids had it as well, so I was extra beat from taking care of them. Then the week felt like a race from one thing to the next, not a moment to breathe. By the time Friday came, I was dealing with debilitating stomach pain. It seemed as though my ulcer was acting up again. I (stubbornly) did not go to the doctor right away, trying to push through with the thought it would be gone in the morning.
It was not.
The thing is the temperature and air pressure also dropped overnight. The lack of caffeine plus the sinus issues, plus the tension from so much body pain meant I had a triple whopper of a headache when I took the kids to basketball camp Saturday morning. It was all I had to sit there for an hour, and after taking them home and getting everyone settled…I headed to urgent care. They advised me of steps I could take to alleviate the stomach pain as well as meds I could safely take to manage the headaches. I could barely keep my eyes open. I slept most of the day. Thank goodness it was a Saturday.
The next morning I felt much better. Having slept so much I woke up at five. I treated my stomach gingerly, and have been slowly eliminating certain things (such as coffee :() in order to keep everything manageable. Sunday felt a little like a hangover day, today’s vibe was much better but with another temperature drop came another headache.
Luckily it was a mostly quiet day at home. I’ve been catching up on some admin, hence the fact that these items are up on eBay, and I finally posted some stickers for sale on my ko-fi. I’m on a strict order to take Benadryl before bed so I think it’s time for me to get some sleep. I can hit the ground running with some writing in the morning — caring for the physical body comes first.
I did complete this weeks collage for The Tarot Diaries, which I hope to write on tomorrow. The podcast has fallen behind a couple of weeks, but I hope I can recover that as well. It can’t be done in poor health though, so rest it is.
I hope everyone has a safe week. Stay well friends.
Starmoth Press 