Starmoth Press

This project is a weekly walk with an individual tarot card. I will analyze the card. I will connect it with personal anecdotes. I will make art that is representative of the card, at least to me. I will try to embody the spirit of the card (or allow its’ spirit to embody me). I will look at the days of that week to see how the chosen card shows up in my life. It will be a practice of getting to know myself, becoming more intimate with the tarot, and coming back into my life. Tune in for status reports daily-ish here, or get the full week’s work in a delivered newsletter on Substack at https://starmoth.substack.com/. It has become clear to me that part of this ongoing documentation process will be a podcast. I am unsure if I should do this weekly, bi-weekly, or monthly. If you have a preference (I know there’s a lot of available content out there) please let me know in the comments. As always, I appreciate your time.

One of my core values as a person who is in recovery is that every person is worthy of redemption. I spent a LONG TIME hating myself. I still struggle with this. Negative self-talk still tries to claw its way into my life. On rough days, some of its tendrils may succeed. It is important for me to remember that I am good. I am worthy of love. I am worthy of redemption.

And who am I? I am a person who has made mistakes. I have failed, and hurt people, and have regrets. I have believed things with my whole chest before grace was granted in the form of someone teaching me a different way.

I have learned through recovery that life does not exist within a binary. Most of my life I saw the world this way. My brain didn’t develop the emotional capacity to see the world in shades of grey. This is why self-work is so important. This is why observing our life, and reflection, are so important.

As I near the end of my first week of this project where I have walked with the Strength Card, I come back to this core value. It is not my place to tell others how to feel. It is not my place to police the world. It is my place to ensure I show up aligned with my values. It is understanding that I come from a place of knowing it’s not my place to pass judgement on anyone. It is sitting with the discomfort of disagreeing with people closest to me. It is keeping my eyes open to what is happening in the world. My responsibility is to not check out.

Another habit I am observing within myself is the way I squirm and shrink to try and avoid discomfort. At some point, my brain had it in my head that pain and discomfort would be avoided at all costs. That is not life. That is not existence. Resistance to what is happening has brought me a lot of pain and suffering. I open my hands and let it go. I soften in the face of a harsh world. I offer love to those who may spit (or let’s face it, type) hate.

I breathe in to the space of my body. I travel between the cells of my being. I remember that I am an animal. I remember that searching for belonging is in my nature. I hold space for all the uncomfortable things I am bound to face. I surrender to the moment. I think there is strength in that.

Journal Prompts:

1. When you look at the strength card, what comes up for you? Does the imagery or word bring forth any sensations or emotions? Observe, record, then dig in. Do you know why that came up? Can you think of a life event or story that perhaps your subconscious connected this card to?
2. Think of your life this past week. What is an unexpected way that strength showed up for you? Is there a symbol or animal or spirit friend you were surprised by?
3. What are your thoughts, beliefs and feelings about redemption? Do you believe that it relates to strength? What is your relationship to it? Is there a personal experience molding your ideas to redemption, or the fact that we are all worthy of love? Observe what shows up within your body. Make space for that. Write about it. Tell yourself that you love you. Spend time with a friend, if you are able.